Friday, September 17, 2010

Shattered Pieces

It's not like I haven't been saying all along that it's just a matter of time unless this whole stuff collapses.

It's a lot less worse due to the fact that I've seen it coming, though. It was obvious that my life was going too good, something just had to happen yet again and ruing fucking everything. It's like a total waste that I try to get a good life going, over and over, and it's getting constantly ruined by some fucking overpowered unknown force.

"We're afraid we have to tell you that your mathematical abilities are insufficient for this job", my ass. I've seen what they do in that job, no calculating at all. All they do is just listen to people, configure their hearing devices and send them home again. It's easy, and I knew how to do it just by looking at her screen while she did it. I have to admit that it was a little more tricky to actually build those little devices, but it was my first time, and that's why I fucking go to school there, to learn how to. But no, it'd too easy to not take maths. Fuck it, honestly.

I've been talking with Elizabeth about the meaning of life, and why we actually live. Back then, I was seriously trying to convince her that life is somewhat worth living for, but oh irony, now I'm definetely on her side. I don't why I'm doing this, I don't know what's stopping me from just suiciding. I'd be done with everything, it's not like I'd actually miss stuff. Yeah, I'd lose a few friends here and there, and yes, gaming sometimes is worth living for, but really, I don't even have a girlfriend, I have nothing to basically live for. But yet again, I'm not going to suicide just yet, I know that I'm dumb enough to just try again, being the stupid human I am.

Sigh... Moving on. I've uploaded the orginal soundtrack of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale to YouTube, and yes, I know that there's still more than enough Game Facts to be posted, but as you can probably imagine I'm not really in the mood for that right now. I've also basically completed the game, even though there's an endless mode which is just as much fun as the game itself. I've also completed Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and I must say that the ending of the game is not like I'd expected it. It was brilliant to the very last minute, and I'm glad I've played the game. And ever since Mirodir bought me Blood Bowl, I've been playing that with him all the time, too.

Of course I watched some anime, too. Namely being K-ON!!, Rainbow, Highschool of the Dead and Naruto: Shippuuden. While I am writing, there's currently the German Dubbed Naruto: Shippuuden running in the TV, and I must say, the censorship is a bitch. It's not even logical what they do there, but whatever. K-ON!! is as random as always. As for Rainbow and Highschool of the Dead, the last episode of both animes is coming out, soon. So I'll finish those two. I don't know if I'll watch many more animes after that. Maybe finishing Clannad. And also Shangri-La. But then, I really got nothing more on my list. Not feeling up for Katekyo Hitman Reborn since 50% of the anime (being I think 200 episodes so far), is annoying filler and not worth watching.

My head is so full of fuck right now. I haven't put so much hatred in one blog post ever. Sadness, too, but my sadness is getting a little overwhelmed by the insane amount of anger. I could just smash everything in this very room, and still wouldn't be satisfied. I just really hate life right now. I'm honestly trying to give my best, but if everybody just keeps rejecting me, I don't know if it's all for nought.

Eh, I think that about sums it up. Good bye, and stuff.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

About Cicadas and Sofas

If things keep going like this I might be enjoying myself just like the precious lady in the picture.

Just without the cicada... Anyhow! I've finished Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale and I've continued playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Once I feel like it, I'll review both of them, but yeah, that might actually take a while.

So, I was at that store yesterday. Work there was fun, much like I expected. You simply sit there, manage stuff, once some customer comes you listen to him and help him with his needs, then you eventually fix some hearing devices here and there (which is by the way much harder than it looks like), and he's free to go. So I'd work from 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM my time, if things go out like I hope they will. The only real problem is that the only school that teaches this kind of job is... about 6 hours away. Or more. Meaning I'd be in some other town at the other end of Germany for about 1 month. No computer, no internet, no blogspot, no friends. Nothing, just that job. But I suppose that is a sacrifice I have to make if I'm going to take that job... Those are going to be hard. Really hard.

Parsee's bitching around in Steam, ever since a certain incident happened which I'm not going to mention. He's like literally searching for a reason to ban me. Since he's not going to listen to me when I speak to him, I'll write to him here, and maybe he'll read it sooner or later. Parsee, I'm sorry for what's happened and I actually were fine with the fact that we weren't fighting about this 24/7, so could we please stop with this? I don't personally hate you, and I'm sure you don't particularly hate me either, which leaves us to the point that this whole fight is pointless. I'm just saying.

So I've met even more people here and there and things are going just fine. Also, I've been playing a lot more Leage of Legends and I've started playing Blood Bowl. As for LoL, it always was a fun game, but it's hard to get a friends-only game going. And Blood Bowl is genius, it's basically football in a fantasy world, with orcs and elves and shit. Going into detail later.
All you need to know is that I've been playing these games with a certain person yet again. And I'm sure some of you know who that is. Yup. Another thanks right to my best friend of all time, Mirodir. Did I ever mention Miro and I have the same real life name? It's funny, in a weird way, since we've known each other for so long. I guess we'll forever call each other Rio and Miro.

That's it from me, so far! Don't sulk, guys, I love you all equally, Miro just has an early start! I'll be seeing you guys around. Dewa mata!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Realism, ho!

Greetings, everyone! Life's been okay for a while now, I can't wait for the next time when everything's ruined again!

Just kidding. I think things might work out as they are now. Currently, I've been asked if I would happen to want to test that new job I'll be working as, so I'll go introduce myself next week tuesday. Other than that, much stuff has happened. I've met quite some new people, some more, some less interesting. Also, I've chatted quite much with Patty recently, and he and I, well, mostly he, set up a Team Fortress 2 Melee Only server, so in case you're interested, my Steam Group should hold all the info you need.

So yes, Amnesia: The Dark Descent finally came out recently, and it's certainly the most fucking scary game I've ever played in my entire life. I'm sometimes scared to continue playing, because my heart just can't take anymore. Maybe I'm overdoing this, but even F.E.A.R wasn't as scary as this is. In F.E.A.R you could shoot if you're scared. Here? All you can do is run. Run and hide, and hope to survive, hope they lose interest and move on. Sometimes it's just plain scary, dark places, that kind of stuff. Not much happens and you just move on, just knowing that something might happen any fucking second. And then? You hear some kind of monster, then you see something coming around the corner, and all you can fucking do is run. You hear the screams behind you, your character starts to breathe heavily, because his sanity drowns slowly. That's the kind of game it is. Enjoy with caution.
So, on the exact other site, Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale came out two days after. I'll make it short. Basically, you have an item shop, gather items with your adventurer, and then sell them in your shop. You can customise your shop and all, and the story is pretty cool. It's anime-styled, of course. I've been playing it quite much recently, too, mostly to calm myself down from the creepy situations in Amnesia before. I have yet to complete both games, however.

I've watched a lot more of K-ON!!, too, most of the time when I'm eating or not doing anything else. I sometimes really do not know what to do, and that is when I start chatting, watching animes, or just stare at the screen for an unknown amount of time. I wonder if that's a bad thing, that I have nothing that really interests me in life. I mean I do have things that interest me, and things I enjoy, but I don't know. I really just don't know.

Ah, whatever, I guess. Life's good so far, might as well make the best out of it. See you later!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Ritsu's the name!

Yo, how's it going, everyone?

I've been doing surprisingly good. I don't know why, but I somehow feel that I still have enough time to make things right, it's a weird, overwhelming feeling I haven't really felt before. I wonder if that has something to do with the fact that my mother made my favorite food today.

So anyways, yeah, I've been doing really good so I have decided to make yet another blog post. Some stuff happened, so I have a little bit to talk about, too. First off, I've watched more K-ON! recently, I have totally forgotten how amazing and adorable this anime is. I've almost completed season one now and after that, I might as well start the second season. I have also talked with Albi (or Lara, how I should call her from now on) and we got along really well. It's great to see that even your old friends are still as awesome as they were when you met them. Talking about old friends, I've had a fight with Eliz about how my advices make things worse for her. I can't blame her, since that actually was the fact for her once, but the whole argument was somewhat pointless, and I'm glad we're over it by now.

I have been downloading Final Fantasy XIV the past days, since the Open Beta just got released. Rather, I have been trying to. First off, you have to open ports in order to get a decent download speed, otherwise you'll be stuck at 20kB/s with a 3GB patch. Good luck with that. Secondly, I have been installing this very game since yesterday. Yes. By now, it is almost finished with the first 5GB, I think about 4 GB are left. I don't think I'll grow to like the game very much, and the sole, and only reason I actually went through all this effort is because you can create a race which is called Lalafell. In anime terms, that would mean you're able to create lolis.

Now, where most of my friends already know the fact that I'm Lolicon, it might sound strange for everyone else. It's happened that I've been called a weirdo, or a pervert for thinking so. But I can't help that I really do admire the way lolis are drawn and the way they usually act like. It's similar to any other fetish. Masochism and sadism included. Of course many people are like "But they're little girls! That's wrong! You're pedophile!" Truely, despite the fact that I like to think of myself as a pedophile (that is something where you can call me weird), I am not pedophile. When I think of Lolicon, I don't think of real life girls at all. I don't relate it. Lolis act different than children in the real world. That is where the difference lies.

Enough with that, I'm getting off-topic. Someone chatted me today and showed me something interesting. Not interesting because of its content, rather because of its name. You can witness this very something, here. Don't ask me what it is, as far as I know it's supposed to be an anime. I like their name idea, naturally, even if it does sound somewhat... gay. No offence. Also, Mikun has asked me to create a subbing team with him. I told him that I'd think about it, I'd be a leader after all, but I'm really not sure if I'm to all the time wasting, really. I'll think about it.

When I woke up today, my mom was looking at me, I'm assuming that she was the reason I suddenly couldn't sleep anymore, I don't know how long she's been staring at me while I was asleep, but I don't want to know. Anyhow, she told me my dad was here, and he quickly looked for more work around, since I failed at finding anything that could possibly interest me. Well, he found something in my area. Yup, if things work out fine, I'll be a hearing aid acoustician soon. That are those people who... well, help people hear? They produce hearing aid of all sorts. Not the best job I could've wished for, but its worth the money, I suppose.

Oh, in case anyone wondered about the name, Ritsu is a character of K-ON!, my favorite to be precise, and currently my avatar and appearance in Steam. Do you think I overdid it with the wallpaper? Well, at least you can understand why I love her so much, now!

Geez, I guess that was about all I had to say for this time. I hope I find the time to write some more reviews, soon, because I will have a load of information, waiting to be posted. See you around!